Transitions coaching
The hard part is
the in-between.
Most people can handle an ending and a beginning well enough. The trouble starts in the gap between them, when the old life has gone and the new one hasn't arrived yet. That gap is where most of my work happens.
Book a free 45-minute consultation View the approachEvery transition has three movements
Change is observable. Transition is psychological. A new job or the end of a relationship arrives on a date you can point to, and the transition is the inner adjustment that follows, on its own timeline, as you adapt to a new reality.
Whether the change was chosen or not, a transition tends to move through three phases. Knowing which one you're in changes how you handle it.
Phase 01
Endings
This is where a role or a relationship ends, and the version of yourself that went with it. Grief often shows up here, even when the ending was chosen.
Phase 02
The in-between
The old life is gone and the new one hasn't fully arrived. It's disorienting, and it's often where people feel most stuck.
Phase 03
New beginnings
What's next starts to take shape, with a clearer sense of who you are. The in-between can't be skipped, though people often try.
Four places people tend to start from
Transitions come in many forms, and not all of them are chosen. People usually come to me from one of the four places below.
The shifts that reach deeper
Your sense of self is being reshaped along with your circumstances.
- Rethinking your career, or thinking about leaving it altogether
- A separation or divorce is reshaping your world
- Rebuilding your habits and your daily sense of purpose
Moments that ask who you want to become
The door is open, and stepping through it takes more than you expected.
- Being let go has left you with space you didn't choose
- You're ready for something that fits who you are now
- There's more purpose and clarity out there, and you don't yet know how to reach it
Where you feel stuck or lost
Something isn't working and the way forward isn't clear.
- It's hard to show up fully at work or at home
- You feel disconnected and unsure of your direction
- The same patterns keep turning up in a new setting
From what was, to what is next
The outside has changed already, and the inside is still catching up.
- You've taken on a bigger role than you've held before
- Starting somewhere new, when nothing feels familiar yet
- A stretch of study has finished and you're wondering what comes next
What we work on together
Strategy and goal-setting are part of this, and so is the body. In the middle of a major change, stress and grief make it hard to think clearly, so decisions that should be simple feel impossible.
We make sense of what's ending and build some steadiness for the in-between, then move toward what's next when you're ready. I draw on somatic work and coaching, and on how a transition unfolds on the inside.
What's ending
Making room for grief and for the identity that's shifting, even when you chose the ending.
Steadiness in the in-between
Grounding practices for the stretch when things feel most uncertain.
Your own judgement
Stress and fear narrow your thinking. Part of the work is getting back to the clarity you already have.
Choosing what's next
Taking the next step with some intention, at a pace that suits you.
Every significant transition carries some form of loss, even the ones we choose. Francis Weller, whose work on grief has shaped how I think about endings, says it well.
Grief is subversive, undermining the quiet agreement to behave and be in control of our emotions. It is an act of protest that declares our refusal to live numb and small. There is something feral about grief, something essentially outside the ordained and sanctioned behaviours of our culture. Because of that, grief is necessary to the vitality of the soul.
Francis Weller
"I arrived in Melbourne in 2021 in the middle of a divorce."
Several transitions arrived at once. The move from Singapore to Melbourne came with a divorce, and I needed to find work.
Seeing my daughter used to be something I could do whenever I wanted. Now it took an agreement through the federal family court, where I represented myself, and I missed her a great deal. I was in therapy while studying IFS, and learning how to be a single dad, with no mentor to guide me through the divorce process.
That period shaped how I work with transitions. I see them as passages to move through with the right support.
Come and talk it through.
The first step is a free 45-minute consultation, where we'll look at what's going on and whether this work fits.
Book a free 45-minute consultation